On our first dating anniversary, we got for each other, independently and without any sort of cross-consultation at all, wedding bands. They didn't match (it would have been eerie if they had), but that doesn't matter - we both wore them as symbols of our willingness to consider our relationship a permanent one, whether or not we elected to undertake the associated legal processes.
We had on occasion talked about getting married, and having both previously done it for the wrong reasons, we knew that this time we'd be doing it for all of the right reasons. But for us it wasn't a priority - labels aren't important, all that's important is how we feel about each other, and if those feelings are such that we are together for the rest of our lives, then a piece of paper that says we're married isn't going to make a difference. And if we aren't going to be together for the rest of our lives, the piece of paper won't make a difference there, either.
For our second anniversary (or twenty-fourth monthiversary, if you want it to sound a little more impressive), after much thought about what to get K. as a gift, I decided that the time was right to broach the topic of buying her a ring — not because I thought she wouldn't like the idea, but because it's an object that she will be wearing for the rest of our lives together, and so it makes a lot of sense to pick out something that she would like.
So, over dinner at Café Nuovo, I brought up the idea, and she was strongly in favor. On the spur of the moment, we decided to go diamond shopping at the mall, just to see what was out there. Unfortunately (fortunately?) the only jeweler we cared to look at didn't have any Asscher-cut stones (the only cut in which K. was really interested).
In the truest spirit of our relationship, we continued the search on line - sitting in the living room, she on her G5, I on my MacBook, we looked at diamonds and settings on Blue Nile. We found a stone we both liked (again, independently and almost simultaneously), K found a setting she liked (a decision that I left in her capable hands), and we were off to the races.
The ring was due to arrive this morning, and in fact it did — but not before we had fun employing the FedEx tracking system for our spectatorial amusement. When it arrived, I promptly unpacked it, took a picture, and sent it to her. Then I proposed bringing it up to her office, so that she could wear it to a big project presentation that she had to attend about two hours hence. The response from the other end?
"*Thud*"
So off I went.
This worked out great - ring applied, requisite oohing and ahhing from the colleagues, then we decided to escape for an early dinner — at Ten, a place that she'd taken me for my birthday and which we both liked. It was early, so we were the only ones in the place. Since I hadn't done it before, I "officially" asked her to marry me, and she said yes!
So then we finished dinner, and headed down to her folks' place, because it seemed like a good idea to get permission from her stepdad, what with him being a really good shot and all. Mom and stepdad both seemed happy with the concept of having me as a son-in-law, which hopefully will continue to be the case after the darts wear off.
So, we're gettin' married! No, we haven't set a date. But we will — just as soon as everything else settles down. We are agreed that we don't want to feed the wedding cartel, or make a spectacle out of ourselves in the process of getting married; and if the planning and execution stops being fun, we'll punt, go down to the town hall, dig up a couple of witnesses, and just do it. We can throw a party whenever we want.
p.s: picture here.
